Blindspots are part of being human. In leadership, they are the unseen habits, assumptions, and filters that shape how you show up. You may believe your intentions are clear, but people respond to what they experience, not what you meant. When there is a gap between the two, it can quietly influence trust, communication, and results.
The challenge is that blindspots rarely reveal themselves without a nudge. They are woven into familiar patterns that feel normal from the inside. While others may see them clearly, you are often unaware until something, or someone, reflects them back to you.
The good news is you can train yourself to look for signs of what you might be missing. Asking the right questions opens the door to greater awareness and allows you to make small, targeted adjustments that have an outsized impact on relationships and outcomes.
Below are five questions to help uncover what you might not be seeing, along with guidance on how to use them. These questions are designed for leaders, but anyone who wants to improve their influence, communication, and self-awareness can benefit from them.
1. When Was the Last Time I Was Genuinely Surprised by Someone’s Reaction?
Surprise is a powerful indicator. Think back to a moment when someone’s response caught you off guard. Maybe you made a decision you thought was straightforward, only to find it met with unexpected resistance. Perhaps a comment you saw as encouraging was taken as criticism.
These moments can signal a gap between intention and impact. Leaders often focus on the logic behind their actions and forget that tone, timing, and delivery carry equal weight. When a reaction feels out of proportion to what you expected, ask yourself what the other person might have experienced that you did not notice.
You can take this further by revisiting recent interactions in your mind. Where did you see an emotional reaction you did not anticipate? What might have contributed to that reaction beyond the surface-level situation? By exploring these moments, you start to see patterns in how your communication is received.
2. What Feedback Have I Heard More Than Once, Even in Different Situations?
Feedback patterns are rarely random. If a similar theme has emerged more than once, even from different people or in unrelated contexts, it is worth examining closely.
For example, you may have been told in one role that you tend to move too quickly, and in another that you sometimes overlook details. While the language is different, both point toward a possible tendency to prioritize speed over thoroughness.
It can be tempting to dismiss repeated feedback if you believe it does not reflect your true intentions. Yet hearing the same message more than once is an opportunity to explore what might be creating that perception. Asking follow-up questions or seeking examples can help you understand the behavior from another angle.
Leaders who lean into these patterns often find that small adjustments, such as slowing down in certain conversations or adding more context to decisions, can make a significant difference in how they are perceived.
3. Where Do I Get the Least Pushback or Disagreement?
At first glance, a lack of pushback can feel like a sign that you are leading well. It might suggest alignment, clarity, or shared vision. However, it can also mean people are holding back.
When team members rarely challenge an idea or ask probing questions, it could be because they believe dissent will not be welcome or productive. In some cases, they may simply not feel safe enough to share a different perspective.
To explore this possibility, think about your last few team discussions. Were there moments where you expected more dialogue but got quick agreement instead? Did people seem hesitant to speak up when you offered your perspective first?
You can test the waters by directly inviting alternate views. Asking, “What might I be missing here?” or “How could we approach this differently?” signals that you value input and are open to hearing it. Over time, these invitations can help create a culture where healthy disagreement is not only safe but expected.
4. What Topics or Situations Make Me Most Defensive?
Defensiveness is often a clue that something important is being touched on. It might relate to your identity, your expertise, or past experiences. When you feel the urge to justify yourself or explain your perspective before fully hearing the other person, you may be protecting an area you have not examined closely.
This does not mean the feedback or challenge is automatically correct. Rather, the emotional charge around it can be a signal to slow down and look more closely.
In moments of defensiveness, try pausing before responding. Take a breath and ask yourself, “What am I trying to protect here?” You may find that your reaction is more about the feeling of being misunderstood or judged than the actual content of the conversation. Recognizing this distinction allows you to stay engaged and consider the other perspective without shutting it down too quickly.
5. If I Asked My Team, Peers, or Friends What I Could Do More Of or Less Of, What Would They Say?
Imagining the answers to this question can be revealing, even before you ask anyone directly. Your mind will often fill in the blanks with the possibilities you suspect might come up. Those possibilities are worth exploring.
When you do ask, frame the question in a way that encourages honesty and specifics. For example, “What is one thing I could do more of that would make a difference for you?” and “What is one thing I could do less of that would make things easier?”
By inviting both positive and constructive input, you signal that you are open to growth and willing to make changes. Over time, these conversations can strengthen trust and make feedback a normal, valued part of your relationships.
Building a Habit of Curiosity
Blindspots will always exist, but they do not have to limit you. The leaders who navigate them most effectively are the ones who stay curious, listen fully, and remain willing to adapt.
Making these five questions part of your regular reflection can help you notice patterns earlier, respond more intentionally, and create space for perspectives you might otherwise miss.
This process is not about finding fault with yourself. It is about expanding your awareness so that your decisions, communication, and relationships are rooted in the fullest picture possible. When you approach your work with this mindset, you create a ripple effect of trust, openness, and collaboration that benefits everyone around you.
Final Thought
Self-awareness is not a one-time exercise. It is an ongoing practice that grows with each conversation, challenge, and moment of reflection. By taking the time to ask these questions and act on what you discover, you position yourself to lead with greater clarity and impact.